Wednesday, November 30, 2005

The Monster in the Bedroom

So I guess my mother's prayers were answered, but honestly, how was I supposed to know that God paid attention all those times she wished that I'd have a child someday just like me? I mean I ignored her, why didn't He? It would've been so nice to have a quiet, bookish child. One that likes to keep his room clean and his book bag organized. A son that rises every morning with a pleasant disposition and wants nothing more than to do my bidding.

But nooooooo... I just had to have a child that's just like me. I had no idea I was so obnoxious!

Every morning I walk into The Brain's bedroom around 7 a.m. and turn on his light. I come back 15 minutes later and lay out his clothes for the day if he hasn't, and then again about 5 minutes later to tell him that it's time to wake up. I rub his back and try and ease him into the day. Because I hate mornings too I try to do what I can to let him wake up naturally. I guess the naive part of me feels that he should appreciate the fact that I have to get up a lot earlier and almost never get a full nights rest. Get a clue mom; he just blames you for disrupting his peaceful dreams and making him freeze his ass off before lunchtime!

He emerges from the bed a snarling, spitting, biting monster that wails and gnashes his teeth, yelling and generally behaving in a way that would under normal circumstances get him knocked through a wall. He remains this way for about 15 minutes until fully dressed; both he and his brain join the rest of us, once again an agreeable, sweet child that will put his arms around me, say "Sorry mom, I love you", and start rummaging through the fridge for breakfast as if the monster was nothing more than a figment of my imagination.

It doesn't seem to matter how I approach him, what time he gets to bed or what enticements and/or punishments are thrown his way. Every morning without fail I play lion tamer to my 9 year old. No one told me when I first got into this that I'd need a helmet!


Blogger Ms. Mama said...

We all get pay back for when we were children. My mom laughs gleefully about what I have comming :-) At least he gets over it quick enough...

5:32 AM  
Blogger Andria said...

I had no idea being a mom was such a tough job. It's like taking a ride on a roller coaster that never ends. You love every minute of it (well, most of the time anyway), but it leaves you just a little bit breathless.

8:21 AM  

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