Saturday, November 26, 2005

Better days

It has been a better couple of days. Mother and I went shopping early yesterday morning and managed to get everything done by noon. We agreed to watch my brothers two little ones, aged two and a half and six weeks for the night so my brother and his wife could catch up on much needed sleep. It was fun right up to the point when we realized that they had neglected to pack pajamas, diapers, and a change of clothing for each of the kids. I swear, my brother is not a stupid child, really he isn’t. It seems that way since he has had children of his own.

So... The Brain and I found ourselves at Wal-Mart last night with the two year old, Talia, trying to figure out what size diaper she and her brother wear. It would've helped to know how much she weighed, but no such luck. I was tempted to take her to the produce isle and weigh her on one of the vegetable scales but it was too far to walk (sad but true). I tried asking another woman who was shopping there if she had a child Talia's age, but the woman thought I was begging for money. How embarrassing. Like beggars shop in cashmere! Anyway, we took a guess and an hour later made it home about a hundred dollars poorer (am I the only one that can’t seem to leave there without spending at least that much?).

I received an email earlier in the day from one of my friends who is having a hard time with the caretaking of his parents. I decided to head up to the station to check in with him after mother took over and the kids were in bed. He had a nervous breakdown a couple of years ago and has been having trouble coping recently. I don't think that it's possible to explain how hard it is to care for an ailing parent. It's one of those things that you have to go through to understand. I've found talking to him has been strangely cathartic for me so it seems to be a win-win. I didn't tell TV guy that I was going up there, and pretty much ignored him while I was there. I've decided that I have to stick with my initial thought on the matter. This new relationship that he is in needs to fail on its own merits, if I remove myself from both of them, I also remove myself from the drama. I really miss his friendship but I can’t help but feel that this is for the best for him. Hopefully he'll eventually find someone that isn't threatened by me, but until he does, it's probably better this way. I was a little embarrassed for him last night though, there were several people that came up to me and asked why he was dating someone that liked to dress like a hooker. I just said that it was for variety and then changed the subject. It seems that whatever drama exists over this whole silly thing as more to do with people questioning his judgement more than anything else. I feel badly for him, but really, what can I do? Everyone is entitled to make mistakes, right?

Maybe eventually we can spend time together again like we used to, but for now this is his doing and is a direct result of decisions that he has made. Only he can decide if it's worth it. I’ll just have to miss his friendship until then. I’ve always believed that sometimes the last thing you want to do is often the first thing that you should do, it still sucks though. I miss his friendship a lot.
I’ve decided to take an old friend up on an offer and go out tonight; it’ll be fun just getting away for a while, especially since The Brain is spending the evening with his grandparents. Maybe it will take my mind off everything. Maybe.

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