Sunday, August 06, 2006

A Realization...

One year ago today Agent C called me for the first time and the nature of our relationship changed forever. He called me because my father had passed away on August 1st and he thought I might want to talk. When he called we spent about five hours on the phone talking about everything but dad's death. We talked about our memories, our hopes, dreams, lives, everything and anything but how I felt right at that moment. It wasn't until I brought it up about ten minutes before we hung up that he mentioned anything about it at all.

I said "you haven't asked me how I'm doing... I think you're the first person to call me and not ask me that."

He replied "I don't need to ask. I can hear everything I need to know in your voice, and anything else I trust you to tell me when you're ready."

That meant so much to me.

Almost as much as the flowers that he sent to me last Tuesday on the one year mark of dad's passing. Simple, sweet, and understated the card read "I just wanted to you know that someone is thinking about you while you're thinking about everyone else. Give your mom and The Brain a hug from me."

Is it any wonder why I love him?

He's been out of cell range and away from his computer for the last five days. This is the longest that we've gone without communicating in over two years and it's killing me. He gets back tomorrow, thank God. I feel like someone cut off my arm and I just noticed it was missing. It's a strange feeling to realize that you've come to need someone so much and that you never realized it before. I've never really needed anyone before, not really, but I apparently need him.

Go figure.

My camera was acting up so I don't have any decent pictures of the flowers he sent... this was the best I could do... aren't they pretty?


Blogger anne said...

They are gorgeous! There's nothing better than a. getting flowers and b. getting them from someone who is so huge in your heart.


9:38 AM  

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