Monday, March 27, 2006

As promised

Here ya go, and this time I actually managed to not mimic a first grader! Baby steps people!

I'm glad y'all had an easier time with this one. I've always enjoyed these hidden picture puzzles.

Work is incredibly busy right now and I'm finding it hard to post anything at all some days. For now I'll pass along a picture I took this past weekend of my baby brother and my son goofing off.

Families are great, aren't they?

If my head doesn't explode or my fingers fall off from typing I promise to be back in fighting form by Thursday. God willing.

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Hidden Faces Revealed!

As promised, here are all nine faces circled. This is a painting done by Octavio Ocampo, it's called The Generals Family. The faces found in this picture are those of the members of his family.

Here's one more just for fun. You should find at least 10 faces in this picture.
I promise this will be the last one for a while!

I'm trying to put together a post about some of my experiences from back in the days when I was a Private Investigator. We'll see how it turns out. Stay tuned!

Friday, March 24, 2006

Can you find all nine?

Come on now, keep trying. I'll try and post the picture over again tonight with the answers circled.

How many can you find?

Here's a hint, look toward the sides of the picture...

Thursday, March 23, 2006

How many people do you see?

Most of the time my job requires that I look beyond the obvious. You know, listening as much to what is not being said, looking for the absence of something instead of what is there...

Being a good investigator often means pulling back, changing perspectives, and looking at things from a completely different angle.

This is a good exercise for just that type of thing. How many people can you find in this picture?

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

I'm a masochist

I must be. It's the only explanation.

Why else would I plant flowers all over my yard and inside containers both indoors and out when I have quite possibly the worse case of springtime allergies that the world has ever seen?

Masochism I tell you. It's the only explanation.

And while I'm at it, why is it my son's energy level seems to be somehow directly tied to my state of health? He seems to be most full of it when I am at my least.

Ahhh-chooo... sniffle, sniffle, sniffle...


It's inconceivable to me that the mid-west is buried under two feet of snow!

Tuesday, March 21, 2006


Okay, so I'm horribly slow in posting this and I should be flogged accordingly.

In case you haven't noticed my incredibly cool new digs, look at me now! Pretty amazing huh? Kelly over at Nello Designs created this for me... Isn't she amazing?!

I'm sure Kelly was ready to pack it in a couple of times, heaven knows I don't know anything about html and even less about how to describe what was in my head, but she never gave up.

Seriously Kelly, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I love this design that you've created for me, it's wonderful!

Monday, March 20, 2006

It's Spring!

First of all, I want to thank everyone that either emailed me or left a comment for me in support of my family and me this last weekend. I can't tell you how much it meant to me. Thank you.


Spring is here. Finally! I know that for me this past winter season has been really tough. I'm a warm weather girl. I love flowers and all things green, and I especially love spending time outside enjoying the beauty found in nature.

None of this is easy when it is cold. Ugh!

Having said that, even though it is cold and wet outside today (and probably will be for most of the week), I am still ecstatic that it's spring. Officially.

Even my hydrangea realized it and decided to bloom. By the way, for those of you who are unfamiliar with this neat little plant, you can actually change the color of the blooms by changing the pH of the soil. Cool huh? I have mine potted at the moment in case we get another freeze, but if you plant them in well drained soil they can grow up to 10-12 feet if you let them.

Saturday, March 18, 2006

Happy Birthday Daddy

Today would have been daddy's 69th birthday. But today,instead of celebrating with a big and loud family dinner like we have every year in the past, this year we went to the cemetery.

I'm not at all sure how I feel right now. In some ways today has been a lot easier than I thought it was going to be, in other ways...

Anyway, we went to the cemetery and we planted a miniature rose bush next to his headstone. Within a month or two it will be covered with bright yellow red-tipped blossoms that will sweeten the air around it.

I know that he would have loved it, and I'm hoping that as we return year after year there will be comfort found in its beauty.

Where I am gone, be not afraid...
It is a place that Life is made.
In a New Beginning, not an end...
We all will know and Love again.

Christopher Cornell Sterling

Friday, March 17, 2006


Thursday, March 16, 2006

One Hundred Things About Me

1. Blood, mayhem, screaming, and death don’t bother me. Turn on a scary movie and I turn into a wuss. I hate them and refuse to watch them. I know, it makes no sense to me either.

2. Many people believe that they know me well, only one or two truly do. I’ve had people whose names I can barely remember refer to me as their best friend. It never ceases to surprise me.

3. I have a weakness for chocolate chip cookie dough and Girl Scout Thin Mint cookies… Not at the same time.

4. There was a time that I was convinced that Janet Evanovich patterned her character Stephanie Plumb after me. I still wonder. Some of the experiences that Stephanie Plumb has had could have been taken out of my diary. Pathetic, but true.

5. I am often underestimated while working. For some reason, a woman sitting in a car listening to classical music and crocheting is never thought to be conducting surveillance. This amuses me.

6. Beautiful music makes me cry.

7. I detest crying. It makes my head hurt and my nose run. I wind up feeling worse physically when I’m done and ridiculous when I’m doing it.

8. I’ve often wished that I could feel comfortable crying, it would be nice to have that kind of release once in a while.

9. I am a romantic at heart.

10. I am not cold, indifferent, or uncaring. This is my work face. It’s a habit. The more emotional I am, the less likely I am to allow you to see it. It’s a self preservation thing and I can’t not do it. It’s not intentional, it’s just me. If you knew me half as well as you seem to think that you do, you’d know that.

11. I got married at 20.

12. It wound up being an abusive relationship.

13. I had my son a few months before my 21st birthday.

14. I left my husband when I was 22.

15. I told him I wanted a divorce on April Fools Day (an accident, I swear).

16. Our divorce was finalized on Halloween. I was 23. I have not seen, spoken to him, or had contact with him of any kind since this time. I do not receive child support.
For 6 years I went to school full time at night while working full time during the day.

17. I graduated with my Masters in December 2004 with a 4.0 GPA.

18. I am incredibly stubborn.

19. I love being with my son more than anything else on earth.

20. I love picnics outside.

21. My family is the most important thing in the world to me.

22. Someday, I’d love the chance to be a stay at home mom… Part time.

23. I used to play in an orchestra.

24. I played the flute.

25. I preformed at Carnegie Hall when I was 16 years old.

26. I wish I had time to play now.

27. Someday I think it would be fun to play in the pit orchestra for the local theatre.

28. Being in love scares me because it means giving up control, but that never stops me from falling.

29. Fireworks make me happy.

30. I don’t respect men who are threatened or impressed by what I do or the badge I carry.

31. I love roses and the smell of lavender.

32. I love going to the beach and feeling the sand between my toes.

33. I’m not all that fond of the water. The idea that there is so much beneath the water that cannot be seen scares me a little.

34. That never stops me from going snorkeling.

35. I firmly believe that every once in a while you should do something that scares the hell out of you.

36. A friend of mine, Debbie (Mom II), without realizing it, has taught me more about accepting myself and living life to the fullest than anyone else I’ve ever known. I want to grow up to be like her. I’ve never told her that. Until now. (I love you!)

37. The fastest way to my heart is by giving me flowers.

38. I’m a cheap date. Flowers, a packed dinner, and a long conversation where my ideas are sought after and respected are all it takes to make me happy. Of course jewelry will never be refused.

39. If you don’t take a stand and stand up to me I won’t respect you.

40. I love to debate.

41. I hate angry, emotional, and close minded people.

42. I don’t have a type, in friendship or relationships. I get along and have friends with people from all walks of life. Intelligence is the only common denominator.

43. I lived most of the first 8 years in Europe.

44. I want to take my son back to live for at least 2 years.

45. I constantly fear that I’m not a good enough mother.

46. I constantly tell myself that I am and resolve to keep trying to do better.

47. I figure it’ll be another 15 years before I’ll be able to tell which of those is right.

48. For the whole of my life my dad was my very best friend.

49. No man will ever come close to him so I quit trying to find one that was.

50. Dad died August 1, 2005.

51. He had 3 heart attacks, a heart transplant, complete renal failure, diabetes, a stroke, cancer, and a myriad of other secondary illnesses. My mother and I saw to his care everyday for the last 13 years.

52. When he died I was emotionally and mentally exhausted.

53. I would give anything to be that exhausted again if it meant 5 for minutes with him. He was the bravest, most courageous man I’ve ever known.

54. While I don’t talk about it, I miss him everyday. Sometimes it creeps up on me and the power of it takes my breath away.

55. Losing him hurt more than anything else I’ve ever experienced.

56. Sometimes when I wake up, I realize that I’ve been talking to him in my sleep and I can hear his voice echoing in my head with the answers to my questions.

57. I know that he’s still very close by.

58. The day after his funeral I received a call from an agency that he encouraged me to apply with. They wanted to set up an interview.

59. Two weeks to the day after he died I returned to the city of his death for the interview.

60. I received an offer letter from this agency on my birthday, a full two months earlier than I was told to look for one.

61. I don’t believe in coincidences.

62. Dad never did either.

63. I love watching NCIS and Gilmore Girls.

64. I rarely watch TV.

65. I love watching thunderstorms roll through. There is something very powerful about watching nature’s fury unfold.

66. I smoked a pack a day for almost 12 years.

67. I was addicted to Dr. Pepper and would drink at least three bottles a day.

68. I quit both cold on February 23, 2005.

69. I decided that the best time to quit something like that was to pick the hardest time in my life. If I could do it then, I could handle it anytime. It worked and I have.

70. My dad was so proud that I quit that I know I’ll never start back again.

71. For my last birthday I received 5 flower arrangements, a spa gift certificate, a leaf blower, and a Dremmel Tool kit. It was the perfect birthday. Even if I did turn 30.

72. I have my own power tools and I use them often.

73. I love gardening. Planting flowers and making things beautiful is one of my favorite pastimes.

74. I believe that Southern people are some of the nicest people on earth.

75. I’ve traveled and lived throughout Europe and the US extensively. I’m basing # 74 on experience.

76. I love watching Alabama football, even if I rarely have time to do it.

77. I love drinking Wild Vines Peach Chardonnay in the summer time. It’s cheap grocery store wine but I love the taste of it.

78. I have never tried any illegal substances, including marijuana.

79. I rarely drink. I always drive others home.

80. I’ve never minded.

81. I have called the police on one of my best friends that insisted on driving home while intoxicated.

82. He got a DUI and hasn’t spoken to me since.

83. I still don’t regret it.

84. I have no patience for stupidity.

85. I’m a night owl.

86. I love mornings, once I’m actually up.

87. I’ve never tried to figure that out.

88. The movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding could have been modeled after my family.

89. I love reading. I usually read about two to three books at a time. Different books for different moods.

90. I love going to listen to live bands play. Especially when they play outdoors.

91. I strongly believe in the power of volunteering and have volunteered multiple times a year for various community projects since I was in junior high.

92. My son is now a volunteer as well. This makes me very proud.

93. I firmly believe that you get out of your city what you are willing to put into it.

94. I believe that someday I may run for a state office.

95. I need to learn to curb my tongue first.

96. I am second generation American-Italian.

97. I am very proud of that fact.

98. I am trying to learn to be more patient and understanding of people. I am trying to learn to give people the benefit of the doubt. So far it’s not sinking in.

99. I believe happiness is both a choice and a lifestyle.

100. My mother and I are very different people. We will never see eye to eye on mostthings. I still respect her tremendously. She is the strongest woman I know and I try to be more like her every day. It will be a long process.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

A Day of Rest

I decided to take my own suggestion and just relax today. There's no way that I could possibly get caught up on everything in one day anyway, so I decided not to worry about it.

Hey. Denial works for me.

The good news is that my knee cap isn't broken (yay!), there's just a lot of swelling at the joint. Whatever. Just so long as a cast isn't involved I don't give a shit. I could just see myself having to ask the doctor if there is anyway we could put the whole cast idea off for a couple of weeks. You know, cause' like right now just isn't working for me. Somehow I see him being less than amused. Crisis diverted. (Whew!)

I'm about a month behind on laundry, both of my cars look like a dumpster threw up in them (honestly, at this point I just need to figure out a way to pick them up, turn them upside down and shake the hell outta them for a while!), and I still haven't gotten caught back up on work. But hey, tomorrow is another day.

Oh well. I did manage to get through the day without further injury to myself. I guess we have to take our successes where we can, right?

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

It's been Monday since last Saturday

It's just gonna be one of those weeks. You know the ones I'm talking about. The kind where you rush around and not only manage NOT to get anything done, but in fact wind up with twice as much left to do than when you started.

So far this week I have:

Had a run in that resulted in my cracking one of my toes at the joint. And yeah, just in case you're wondering- Nope. Nothing to do about it but just let it heal. Tape is supposed to help. So far I can't tell a difference.

Had my knee give out on me while jogging. This resulted in two scraped up knees and a possible cracked knee-cap (x-ray tomorrow), not to mention me feeling like a dumb ass. Like I don't have enough of those moments in my life as it is!

Driven three hours for a 30 minute meeting that accomplished nothing, the nothing by the way could have been handled over the phone. But then, no one asked me.

Gotten my new work lap top. Only to find that they decided to try something new. This time instead of it working at first and THEN breaking they apparently just decided to give me a broken one to save time. Nice huh? Yeah, I thought so too.

And lastly, had a stupid argument with my mother over religion. When will I ever learn?

So that's the last couple of days. See? All Monday's.

I'm thinking that maybe I'd just be better off staying in bed until sometime next week. Whaddya think?

It might be safer.

Monday, March 13, 2006


I have a good friend that lives on the other side of the U.S.. We've been friends for a long time but have never managed to stay in the same state and single at the same time long enough to ever actually go out. We've stayed in close touch and talk regularly both on the phone and over email, close enough that I hardly even notice that he's not here most of the time, even though it's been two years since I've actually seen him.

Good friends don't have to be present to be there for you, he's an example of that. Despite being over a thousand miles away he was there for me in ways that no one else was this last horrific year that dad was so sick and we've gotten to be even closer as a result of that support. In turn I've been able to offer support to him as he's been through difficult times.

I've never believed in coincidences and have always had perfect faith that things work out in the way that their supposed to. So why is it suddenly so frustrating? Why now? Maybe it's because I finally have the chance to breath a little. Maybe it's because I hear the frustration in his voice every time we talk, though he's too much of a gentleman to ever bring it up.

Sometimes I'd love to have a crystal ball... Just to see.

I don't know where I'll be moving this summer yet and as a result can't tell him. He's indicated that he would try and transfer to where ever we move if it's possible. I guess I should be thankful for patient men and just shut up and stop complaining.

Sheesh! It really shouldn't be this hard!

Maybe I need to give that whole gypsy idea some more thought... They have crystal balls, don't they?

Sunday, March 12, 2006

A History Lesson

Yesterday I took The Brain to visit the Space and Rocket Center for a day of learning and fun. It is truly something that has to been seen to be believed. I've probably been no less than a dozen times over the years... Hell, I drive past it every day! I guess because I am so used to having it here I was surprised to find that I took something new away from the park this time.

I'm sure that it had always been there and I had just never noticed, but yesterday I stumbled across a dimly lit wall off to the corner of one of the exhibits. It was covered with 20 large photographs taken of all of the women that had logged hours in space. I stood there looking at these women, most PhD's, some military some not, and was struck by such a sense of pride that it stunned me.

(Feminism - that women are inherently equal to men and deserve equal rights and opportunities. )

Stop and think for a moment.

Women were only granted the vote in 1920. Just 43 years later Soviet cosmonaut Valentina Tereshkova became the first woman in space. How incredible is that?? It took the Americans about 20 years longer, but in July 1983 Sally Ride became the first American woman in space, it was another 9 years before Mae Jemison would become the first African-American woman to travel to space.

These women take my breath away! Their courage and the dedication that they have shown the world is nothing short of amazing. I think it's easy for people, men especially, to underestimate the struggles that women continue to face in the workplace every day. It's easy to forget that it's only been in the last 35 or so years that women have stopped being looked upon as chattel, property owned by their husbands. It's easy to forget that until very recently, just a generation or two, women were not considered intelligent or strong enough to have their opinions heard or respected.

I wanted to find all twenty pictures of these amazing women. I tried. I looked in two different gift shops for something with their pictures in it. I searched online. I tried to figure out how many combined hours these amazing women have logged to date but I couldn't. I did find one interesting tid bit:

Dr. Shannon W. Lucid holds the record for the most flight hours in orbit by any man or woman in the world, as a veteran of five space flights she has logged 223 days (5,354 hours) in space!

As a gender, the strides that have been made towards equality in the last 100 years are nothing short of remarkable!!

Consider this abbreviated timeline. You don't have to read the whole thing, but if you do, stop and really think about these dates. With the exception of the first six or so, you should be able to find women alive today that can remember these times. For close to half of them my mother was alive, many have taken place in my own lifetime.

  • 1848 The first women's rights convention is held in Seneca Falls, New York. After 2 days of discussion and debate, 68 women and 32 men sign a Declaration of Sentiments, which outlines grievances and sets the agenda for the women's rights movement. A set of 12 resolutions is adopted calling for equal treatment of women and men under the law and voting rights for women.
  • 1850 The first National Women's Rights Convention takes place in Worcester, Mass., attracting more than 1,000 participants. National conventions are held yearly (except for 1857) through 1860.
  • 1869 Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton form the National Woman Suffrage Association. The primary goal of the organization is to achieve voting rights for women by means of a Congressional amendment to the Constitution.
  • 1893 Colorado is the first state to adopt an amendment granting women the right to vote. Utah and Idaho follow suit in 1896, Washington State in 1910, California in 1911, Oregon, Kansas, and Arizona in 1912, Alaska and Illinois in 1913, Montana and Nevada in 1914, New York in 1917; Michigan, South Dakota, and Oklahoma in 1918.
  • 1896 The National Association of Colored Women is formed, bringing together more than 100 black women's clubs. Leaders in the black women's club movement include Josephine St. Pierre Ruffin, Mary Church Terrell, and Anna Julia Cooper.Top
  • 1903 The National Women's Trade Union League (WTUL) is established to advocate for improved wages and working conditions for women.
  • 1916 Margaret Sanger opens the first U.S. birth-control clinic in Brooklyn, N.Y. Although the clinic is shut down 10 days later and Sanger is arrested, she eventually wins support through the courts and opens another clinic in New York City in 1923.
  • Aug. 26, 1920 The 19th Amendment to the Constitution, granting women the right to vote, is signed into law by Secretary of State Bainbridge Colby.
  • 1921 Margaret Sanger founds the American Birth Control League, which evolves into the Planned Parenthood Federation of America in 1942.
  • 1935 Mary McLeod Bethune organizes the National Council of Negro Women, a coalition of black women's groups that lobbies against job discrimination, racism, and sexism.
  • 1936 The federal law prohibiting the dissemination of contraceptive information through the mail is modified and birth control information is no longer classified as obscene. Throughout the 1940s and 50s, birth control advocates are engaged in numerous legal suits.
  • 1955 The Daughters of Bilitis (DOB), the first lesbian organization in the United States, is founded. Although DOB originated as a social group, it later developed into a political organization to win basic acceptance for lesbians in the United States.Top
  • 1960 The Food and Drug Administration approves birth control pills.
  • 1961 President John Kennedy establishes the President's Commission on the Status of Women and appoints Eleanor Roosevelt as chairwoman. The report issued by the Commission in 1963 documents substantial discrimination against women in the workplace and makes specific recommendations for improvement, including fair hiring practices, paid maternity leave, and affordable child care.
  • June 10, 1963 Congress passes the Equal Pay Act, making it illegal for employers to pay a woman less than what a man would receive for the same job.
  • 1969 California becomes the first state to adopt a "no fault" divorce law, which allows couples to divorce by mutual consent. By 1985 every state has adopted a similar law. Laws are also passed regarding the equal division of common property.Top
  • 1970 In Schultz v. Wheaton Glass Co., a U.S. Court of Appeals rules that jobs held by men and women need to be "substantially equal" but not "identical" to fall under the protection of the Equal Pay Act. An employer cannot, for example, change the job titles of women workers in order to pay them less than men.
  • 1971 Ms. Magazine is first published as a sample insert in New York magazine; 300,000 copies are sold out in 8 days. The first regular issue is published in July 1972. The magazine becomes the major forum for feminist voices, and cofounder and editor Gloria Steinem is launched as an icon of the modern feminist movement.
  • March 22, 1972 The Equal Rights Amendment (ERA) is passed by Congress and sent to the states for ratification. Originally drafted by Alice Paul in 1923, the amendment reads: "Equality of rights under the law shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of sex." The amendment died in 1982 when it failed to achieve ratification by a minimum of 38 states.
    Also on Mar. 22
    In Eisenstadt v. Baird the Supreme Court rules that the right to privacy includes an unmarried person's right to use contraceptives.
    June 23
    Title IX of the Education Amendments bans sex discrimination in schools. It states: "No person in the United States shall, on the basis of sex, be excluded from participation in, be denied the benefits of, or be subjected to discrimination under any educational program or activity receiving federal financial assistance." As a result of Title IX, the enrollment of women in athletics programs and professional schools increases dramatically.
  • 1973 As a result of Roe v. Wade, the Supreme Court establishes a woman's right to safe and legal abortion, overriding the anti-abortion laws of many states.
  • 1976 The first marital rape law is enacted in Nebraska, making it illegal for a husband to rape his wife.
  • 1984 EMILY's List (Early Money Is Like Yeast) is established as a financial network for pro-choice Democratic women running for national political office. The organization makes a significant impact on the increasing numbers of women elected to Congress.
  • 1986 Meritor Savings Bank v. Vinson, the Supreme Court finds that sexual harassment is a form of illegal job discrimination.
  • 1992 In Planned Parenthood v. Casey, the Supreme Court reaffirmed the validity of a woman's right to abortion under Roe v. Wade. The case successfully challenged Pennsylvania's 1989 Abortion Control Act, which sought to reinstate restrictions previously ruled unconstitutional.
  • 1994 The Violence Against Women Act tightens federal penalties for sex offenders, funds services for victims of rape and domestic violence, and provides for special training of police officers.
All information from this timeline was gathered here. There was way too much to post so I just grabbed some of it to give you an idea.

I believe that now that women can be found in every major occupation and in every office around the world it is important to remember how far we've come. Whether you work outside the home or not you should be proud that you have the opportunity to make that choice for yourself. At the end of the day I believe that what we all really want is to be respected in whatever we choose to do. We should all strive to set an example both for our children as well as other women, an example of tolerance and respect.

Until we do, we sabotage ourselves and we tarnish the legacy left to us by these amazing women.

Friday, March 10, 2006

Another Alabama Test... Just because I'm lazy

Here are some ways to know if you're a true Alabamaian...

1. You can properly pronounce Arab, Opelika, Oneonta, and Eufaula.
2. You think people who complain about the heat in their states are sissies.
3. A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for a funnel.
4. You know that the true value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door, but by the availability of shade.
5. Stores don't have bags or shopping carts, they have sacks and buggys.
6. You've seen people wear bibb overalls at funerals.
7. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
8. You measure distance in minutes.
9. You go to the lake because you think it is like going to the ocean.
10. You listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.
11. You know cowpies are not made of beef.
12. Someone you know has used a football schedule to plan their wedding date.
13. You have known someone who has a belt buckle bigger than your fist.
14. You aren't surprised to find movie rental, ammunition, beer, and bait all in
the same store.
15. A Mercedes Benz isn't a status symbol. A Chevy Silverado Extended Bed Crew Cab is.
16. You know everything goes better with Ranch.
17. You learned how to shoot a gun before you learned how to multiply.
18. You actually get these jokes and are "fixin' " to send them to your friends.

19. you are 100% Alabamian if you have ever had this conversation:
"You wanna coke?"
"Yeah." "What kind?"
"Dr. Pepper."

Have a great weekend!

Thursday, March 09, 2006

What I've learned this week...

This has been a long ass week! I've actually learned a few things about myself along the way though, so I guess it was a productive one.

Here are a few of the things that I've learned.

1. While I am a woman that's very happy working in an almost all male environment, there are still days that I wish avidly for a penis. Yep, you read that right, a penis. Apparently having a penis helps a person to feel confident when doing things like buying rope and tying mattresses to the roof of a Jeep. I mean, I'm intelligent, I'm educated, I'm perfectly capable of handling myself in almost any situation, and yet it took me over 2 hours to decide what type of rope I needed and what the best way was to ensure that my new mattresses wouldn't go flying down the highway (which is what happened last time). I must have spent 30 minutes trying to determine which mathematical equation I needed to figure out how many pounds of pressure the rope had to be able to withstand, factoring in the weight of the mattresses and my speed (I'm pretty sure that if you have a penis you don't think about things like that). I could be wrong though.

So who knew? Penis' actually have multiple uses!

2. I'm destined to get kicked out of the girl club. Trying to sit around and have a conversation with a bunch of women over brunch is now my new definition of hell. I'm sure that all women aren't like this, but honestly, I really don't care how old little Johnny was when he started to walk. No, I didn't realize that your designer bag was the "seasons" biggest thing, and nope, I don't care. Personally, I think you must not be all that bright if you intentionally spent close to $400 on an ugly bag that you'll be afraid to be seen with in 6 months. I'm just sayin'...

3. Being told by my son that I'm "the coolest mom ever" and having him voluntarily give me a hug in public will make my day. Each and every time.

4. While spending over 5 hours on the phone with an old friend may have seemed like fun at the time, in actuality it left me feeling like I had been run over by a steamroller for the following two days. Also, it was pointless because I was left so tired that I can't remember anything about what was said.

5. I will never, ever, ever be completely caught up on my house cleaning, laundry, report writing, and crafts, so I will stop trying. The Brain and I share socks and t shirts... I'll just start getting more non gender specific clothing and say the hell with it. It'll be easier.

Have a great weekend!

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Everything you never wanted to know

I stumbled across this while random blog surfing. I wish I had remembered to make a note of whose blog it was on but I didn't. (Oops) Anyway, the idea is you bold the stuff you've done and everyone gets to learn a little more about you in the process. It looked fun so I thought what the hell. Because I don't know whose this is I'm not going to tag anyone. But come on... play! It's fun and all the kids are doing it!

1. Smoked a cigarette - many many cigarettes... I finally quit a little over a year ago. YAY ME!
2. Crashed a friend's car
3. Stolen a car
4. Been in love
5. Been dumped
6. Shoplifted
7. Been fired
8. Been in a fist fight - ummm... Occupational hazard, really. Well, unless you count the time I found myself in the middle of a bar fight. But all I wanted to do then was get out of the bar.
9. Snuck out of your parent's house - gotta love big bedroom windows and WD-40!
10. Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back - About 15 years ago I had the biggest crush on this trumpet player I knew from my orchestra days. I was devastated when I realized he was gay.
11. Been arrested
12. Gone on a blind date - NEVER, NEVER AGAIN!!!
13. Lied to a friend - It was high school... what can I say?
14. Skipped school - ummm... yep. Luckily the school secretary liked me, I was out so much my senior year the poor woman practically had a stamp just for me!
15. Seen someone die - I've been there right before or right after about a dozen times but never there for the actual event.
16. Had a crush on one of your internet friends
17. Been to Canada
18. Been to Mexico
19. Been on a plane - TOO many times to count.
20. Purposely set a part of yourself on fire - WTF?
21. Eaten sushi - ewwww!
22. Been jet-skiing - I've done everything else that a person can think of on the water, but for some strange reason, never that.
23. Met someone in person from the internet
24. Been moshing at a concert - not nearly as much fun as I would've hoped. Actually kinda hurt... all those random jabs to your spine and near dives to the concrete below.
25. Taken pain killers - plenty of times. I really should learn to be kinder to my body.
26. Loved and missed someone - My dad. I miss him every day.
27. Made a snow angel - I can almost still remember what it felt like. It seems to me that the snow kept getting down the back of my coat. I'm thinking it wasn't all it was cracked up to be.
28. Had a tea party - It was outside in my backyard and we served mud cakes, thank you very much.
29. Flown a kite - Please. I have a 9 year old boy. I've reached expert status at this point.
30. Built a sand castle - Love the beach!!
31. Gone puddle jumping - As recently as two weeks ago. I got totally drenched in the rain one day and figured what the hell. If I've gotta get soaked getting back to my car, might as well have fun with it. I looked ridiculous but ah, hell. It was fun!
32. Played dress up - Um, HELLO!! I'm a girl.
33. Jumped in a pile of leaves - Every fall my son and I rake the leaves in the yard. Twice! The first time we make the biggest pile we can and then jump in and play. The second time we make a ton of several piles and bag them up.
34. Gone sledding - Yep. Never did get the hang of the steering part though... 35. Cheated while playing a game
36. Been lonely - again, occupational hazard.
37. Fallen asleep at work or school
38. Used a fake ID - LOL! Yep, and I slipped the bouncer a $20 so he wouldn't look too closely. I got the money back in the drinks he bought be later on that night. Poor guy seemed to think I was going to reward him or something. :-)
39. Watched a sun set - one of my favorite pastimes.
40. Felt an earthquake - Thank God no! I'm a Southern girl... give me an old fashioned tornado any day of the week. (I probably shouldn't say that too loudly. We're expecting severe weather tonight)
41. Touched a snake - I have a son. Enough said.
42. Slept beneath the stars - Again, I'm a Southern girl. Growing up, more nights than not were spent under the stars in the summertime. I still love it.
43. Been robbed - Does having my car broken into or having my bike stolen count?
44. Been misunderstood - constantly.
45. Petted a reindeer/goat - *grin* Have you met my son? Then you know the answer is yes. I've never seen a kid that is more into animals than him.
46. Won a contest - Too many to count.
47. Run a red light/stop sign - both while running code for work and when just running. I'm bad about those "orange" lights. :-)
48. Been suspended from school - came close a couple of times. It helped that the entire faculty thought daddy was Mafioso... none ever wanted to call him and break the news.
49. Been in a car accident - 2. The first one should have killed me. I'm very. very lucky.
50. Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night - PMS anyone?
51. Had deja vu - again?
52. Danced in the moonlight - a couple of times. My favorite was on 09/11. I was working at the airport, the flight lines were all shut down so we took a cart out to the middle of the runway and danced to oldies music under the stars and the beam from the tower. My buddy Tim convinced me that it was the right thing to do. I felt (like everyone did) so cold and in shock that night. Tim convinced me that laughing and dancing were the best way to "not let them win". He was right, and I have an incredible memory to show for it. I owe him for that.
53. Liked the way you looked at least at one point in time - still do. Is that bad?
54. Witnessed a crime - *sigh* again. Occupational hazard. If I hadn't, wouldn't have been doing a very good job. Here's a clue... You're not nearly as smart or clever as you seem to think that you are.
55. Been obsessed with post-it notes - LOL! Yep. I have them everywhere. Everywhere I tell you!
56. Squished barefoot through the mud - Every summer.
57. Been lost - Have you met me? I've gotten lost in my own neighborhood twice!! It's almost funny when you think about it. An investigator with NO sense of direction!
58. Been on the opposite side of the country - Back and forth, up and down... any which way you look at it, I've been there... twice!
59. Swam in the ocean - almost every summer since moving to the US when I was 8.
60. Cried yourself to sleep - But don't tell anyone.
61. Played cops and robbers - All the time when I was growing up. I always wanted to be the cop. Go figure.
62. Recently colored with crayons - Hey! Don't knock it til you try it.
63. Sung karaoke - not for all the money in the world!
64. Paid for a meal with only coins - a meal, gas, and smokes. All with pennies! (I was 18 and desperate!)
65. Done something you told yourself you wouldn't - How about someone... does that count? Again, I was young and stupid.
66. Made prank phone calls - At every slumber party I ever attended when I was growing up.
67. Laughed until some kinda beverage came out of your nose- You'll want to not do this with Tequila. Trust me.
68. Caught a snow flake on your tongue - I was underwhelmed.
69. Written a letter to Santa Claus - Several times. He and I we're best buds!
70. Been kissed under the mistletoe by your boy/girlfriend - Surprisingly, no. I don't think I've ever actually SEEN it hung.
71. Watched the sun rise with someone you care about - Dad and I used to do that a lot when I was growing up. Those are some of my favorite memories.
72. Blown bubbles - All the time.
73. Made a bonfire on the beach - Tons of times.
74. Laughed so hard you pee your pants - While inebriated. I swear!
75. Cheated on a test - It was a Biology 2 test and the sub gave me the answers. I still feel bad about that.
76. Been kissed by someone you didn't like - I'd rather not think about this for too long. But yes. And EWWWW!!!
77. Gone skinny dipping in a pool
78. Cried to get your way
79. Given money to a homeless person
80. Gotten married or engaged to someone that you knew was a bad idea
81. Realized that your mom really does know what she's talking about
82. Followed a rainbow
83. Had sex in the rain
84. Been on a road trip with friends
85. Given or received flowers - Both. Plenty of times. It's one of my favorite pastimes.

There it is - everything you never wanted to know!

I hate computers!

Can anyone tell me why when I pull up my blog on Firefox it doesn't show any new posts after February 25th but I can go to the blogger dash and it will recognize all of them from there?

Explorer for once seems fine but it appears that something is wrong with Firefox.

Grrrr!! Sometimes I really hate computers!

Alabama Girls

Someone emailed this to me recently... I hope you enjoy it. Work is killing me right now but I promise a full accounting soon.

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties.

The first man had married a woman from Iowa, and bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and house cleaning that needed done at their house. He said that it took a couple days but on the third day he came home to a clean house and the dishes were all washed and put away.

The second man had married a woman from Indiana. He bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and the cooking. He told them that the first day he didn't see any results, but the next day it was better. By the third day, his house was clean, the dishes were done, and he had a huge dinner on the table.

The third man had married a girl from Alabama. He boasted that he told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything, but by the third day most of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, enough to fix himself a bite to eat, load the dishwasher, and telephone a landscaper.

Got to love those girls from Alabama.

Monday, March 06, 2006

A Little Dieting Humor

I'm too tired to try and say anything that would actually make sense so I thought I'd just pass these along.

Sunday, March 05, 2006

By Order of the Queen

By order of the Queen, here is my picture.

Yeah, I know. It was taken from behind but it is the most recent picture I could find. Needless to say, I'm looking forward to taking a different one next month.

Thanks Queenie for getting me off my rump! Nothing like a good competition to get things moving in the right direction again.

Saturday, March 04, 2006

New Movie

Hey y'all! Tv Guy just finished his latest short. If you get the chance check it out - it's pretty funny!

I think he's trying to figure out the copyright stuff regarding the music, but until he can get music written for it he's just thrown in the current music.

Hopefully, the whole thing will be finished soon!

Any thoughts?

Friday, March 03, 2006

Okay, so my work computer starting working for only the second time in over a month yesterday. Would you like to know what I found when I turned it on?

Would ya?


I have 67 cases that are due to be finished NO LATER THAN 03/20/06. Yep. 67.

You couldn't possibly have any idea HOW MUCH FREAKIN' WORK THIS IS!!!!!
Okay, I feel better now. I just needed a moment. So if I don't see anyone for the next three weeks or so it's not because I'm ignoring you, it's because I've run away from home and have joined a band of traveling gypsies and am trying to master the art of tambourine playing.

I'm just kidding. Really.

The Brain would hate to have to dance in front of people. Having a pet monkey might be cool though.

But I'm just kidding.

I'd never really run away.



Thursday, March 02, 2006


I. Want. This. Car.

Thank You.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

A Lesson in Humanity

Last night, for no other reason than just to be nice, my next door neighbor dropped off one of these to my house. It's called a king cake, apparently it's a Mardi Gras tradition.

I found this information online about them.

King Cakes come in the Mardi Gras colors: purple, green and gold. They first appeared on the cakes after 1872, when the Rex Krewe selected those colors for its opening Mardi Gras parade. The colors come to stand for Mardi Gras and took on symbolic meanings: purple for justice, green for faith, and gold for power. Hidden in each oblong of braided coffee-cake dough is a bean or plastic baby; custom dictates that whoever finds it must give the next King cake party. And one Mardi Gras organization even uses a King cake tradition to choose the queen of its annual ball.

It is amazing to me that simple acts of kindness still have the ability to take my breath away. To understand what I mean by this you really need to know a few things about my neighbor.

You need to know that besides going over to introduce myself and bring dinner when they first moved in last fall, I haven't really spoken to them very much except in passing. You should know that this man and his wife are Katrina evacuees, they were living in New Orleans when it hit and they lost everything. Everything including his mother, two aunts, one son, and two grandchildren. They came here and lived in a hotel for several months until they could get financing to buy a house. Once they bought it, they still had to furnish it... They came literally with the clothes on their back. One of their grandchildren is in my son's class. He came to school that first day with no supplies, wearing an adult undershirt, shorts and flip flops. He spent Katrina in the Dome. He has very old eyes.

So last night at about 6:30 my doorbell rings and there stands my neighbor holding a huge box. He handed it to me and told me that it was a King Cake and he hoped we enjoyed it.

It humbled me.